Mindfulness of Positive Emotions
Too good to last?
The ferry ride from Vancouver to Bowen island is probably one of my favourite things to do - especially when there’s a strong wind.
If I’m not being mindful, I can be so focused on when the experience is going to end that I miss out on being able to enjoy the experience. It’s only about a 20 minute ride.
Being able to fully experience moments of pleasantness, happiness, and joy is not always a straightforward and easy task. In the short-term, it can feel easier to avoid feeling good in order to not experience feelings of loss or disappointment. Or, maybe there’s the fear that everything seems too good to be true and disaster is waiting around the corner ready to get us. We might not believe that we are deserving of feeling positive at times. Of course, this is not to say that we don’t want to be happy or take pleasure in being unhappy.
Sometimes we have to really work hard at being in the moment and allow ourselves to feel whatever goodness is present- this is different than chasing or obsessing over happiness. We can acknowledge that this positive feeling won’t last (just like any other feeling we have) and remind ourselves that it doesn’t make the feeling any less valuable. After all, we probably still want to take our dream vacation even though we know it will come to an end or listen to our favourite song knowing that it will end.
How to practice mindfulness of positive emotions:
It’s important to be able to identify and observe how you feel because you might not be aware of pleasant feelings happening during an event. Focus your attention on the positive event in the moment, as it’s happening. a) Keep in mind that we are not trying to judge, suppress, analyze or change the emotion in any shape or form. Don’t try and hold onto the emotion and keep it around. Try and step back, we are simply noticing our experience with an open mind.
Notice where in your body you are feeling physical sensations associated with the feeling. Experience the sensations as fully as you can. It’s okay if you don’t notice anything to begin with- it takes practice.
Observe your emotions and thoughts while practicing the skill. Refocus your mind on the positive when it wanders off to the negative.
Throw yourself into the experience. It’s hard to feel a sense of pleasure if you are watching from the sidelines and not participating.
Check-in with yourself and see what your experience is now after being mindful of positive experiences. Were you glad that you did it? Did it help? Did the worst come true?
Building a life that feels worth living requires both short-term and long-term pleasant events. It might feel immensely difficult to begin making/continue making those steps, but don’t discount the impact of little positives over time.
A bit about the author
Melanie Adamsons is a Registered Clinical Counsellor at Latitude Counselling, and specializes in DBT, CBT and client-centred therapy.