Holiday Coping Mechanisms
While many folks love the holidays, in all forms, shapes and sizes, a lot of folks struggle with this time of year. This is the first year that we haven’t had a number of restrictions and in my practice, I am seeing the holiday stress building. I know we all have a lot going on and generally as the end of the year approaches, we have less to give, attention and capacity wise. I wanted to share some holiday coping mechanisms that I encourage the humans who work with me to use during this December break.
Take what feels good for you today and leave the rest.
Coping Mechanisms + tools to get through the holiday season:
Have a plan
One of the most important strategies is to have a plan. What is going to help make the day go just a little smoother? Maybe it is placing a time limit on how long you are going to be at an event, or limiting how many events you are going to attend in a week.
Thinking through what is going to feel the best, what you have the capacity for and what you want to feel throughout the day are all things to factor into your plan. This includes an exit plan when you are visiting with friends and loved ones. Factor in some slow days where you don’t have much to do which will allow for some much needed down time.
2. Set boundaries
You are not obligated to go to every party. Seriously! You do not have to go if you do not want to! Most people are understanding that the holidays are a busy time. Everyone is getting pulled in different directions, has numerous outings and things going on. Even if you don’t have a packed calendar, if you don’t want to do something, you don’t have to.
And as a gentle reminder, your boundaries do not require justification.
3. Take care of YOU
Take care of YOU and don’t add any expectations that will cause you added stress. This can’t be understated. When we are focusing on making sure everyone around us is okay, that everyone else is happy, we often neglect ourselves. The problem with that is that we run ourselves into the ground and dismiss how we are doing. If we say yes to everything and try to make everyone else happy, we aren’t giving ourselves space to feel our emotions and end up trying to distract ourselves. Eventually the stress and disconnect catches up with us, often when it’s the most inopportune time.
4. Check your expectations
This time of year can create high levels of stress with lots of holiday parties, alcohol consumption, planning meals and navigating gifting. Ensure you are sharing what your expectations are with people so they aren’t trying to guess, ultimately leaving you feeling disappointed. If this season is going to be challenging for you because you have experienced a loss or for any other reason, communicate with family and friends before a scheduled event to let them know how difficult this might be for you and that you might have to leave early. Talk through what you may need during events or in everyday life. For example, extra time alone, a scheduled check-in call, coffee and a walk, etc. Lean on your support system and express what you need over the holiday break.
Remember that no one is perfect so adding pressure on yourself to be is adding undue stress to an already stress riddled time of the year.
5. Move your body
During the holidays we often spend a lot of time eating and drinking. Ensuring that we are also getting outside to move our bodies is another important coping mechanism. Not only does it make us feel good to get some fresh air, it is going to help us close our stress cycle, regulating our systems all at the same time! And as a lovely bonus, sometimes it’s nice to sneak away for some quiet time amongst all the socializing.
Be gentle with yourself.
We all have experienced a lot of change this year and are all navigating a moving landscape. While the magic of the holidays can be alive and well, we also want to ensure that we are setting ourselves up to receive what we need, not just people-pleasing our way through December.
Check in with yourself often.
Be honest with yourself about how you are feeling.
Speak up about what you need.
Wishing you and yours a restful and nurturing holiday.
Warmly,
Lauren
A bit about the author
Lauren Legere is a Registered Clinical Counsellor (RCC) & Canadian Certified Counsellor (CCC), and the Co-Founder of Latitude Wellness.
Lauren specializes in Relationships, Trauma, Anxiety, Professional Burnout and Personal Growth.