How to Cope with Maternal Bereavement
As we welcome in May and the beautiful life and colour spring brings, we also want to acknowledge that this month may hold grief for many as Mother’s Day approaches. The day is full of love, support and gratitude, but can also hold significant pain, loss and grief at what could have been. We want to take a moment to shed some light on a topic that is dear to our hearts, as well as offer support for any mother in need; Maternal bereavement. This is a topic that isn’t often spoken about but one that impacts many of us.
Maternal bereavement is a severe loss that can be experienced by any woman who has lost her child. It's estimated that around 1 in every 1000 pregnancies ends in stillbirth, and for those who experience this tragedy, it can be difficult to cope with the loss alone.
There can be shame, pain and even stigma around losing a child. It can be one of the most isolating and devastating experiences one can have. Our hope is that by talking about it, and letting folks know the types of support out there may help at least one mama struggling. We are going to talk about what maternal bereavement is, two different types of support out there that can help and resources on where to turn if you or someone you know is experiencing maternal bereavement.
What is Maternal Bereavement?
Maternal bereavement is a severe loss that can be experienced by any woman who has lost her child. It can happen to anyone regardless of age, race or socioeconomic status. The death may be sudden and unexpected (such as from an accident), or it may occur after a long illness.
The signs and symptoms of maternal bereavement include:
Feelings of numbness, shock and disbelief that it happened to you
Intense sadness and feelings of grief
Guilt
Anger
Having trouble sleeping
Being unable to concentrate on anything else other than your loss
Loss of appetite
Anxiety and Depression
Fatigue, headaches and digestive problems
Withdrawing socially
Increase risk of substance abuse
It is important to note that there is no “right” way to grieve and that different people will experience different symptoms and cope in different ways. If these symptoms of maternal bereavement sound familiar to you, or you know someone who is experiencing them, it is important to seek support and talk to a professional who can help you through your emotions and begin to heal.
How Counselling Can Help with Maternal Bereavement
Maternal bereavement counselling can help you learn how to deal with your feelings and how to cope with grief following the loss of your child. Counselling will allow you time and space to talk about how you are feeling, which may include sadness or anger towards yourself or others around you; guilt over what happened; fear about what will happen next; isolation from friends and family members who don't understand what it's like losing someone so young and more. Registered Clinical Counsellors (RCC) are trained professionals who will listen carefully while providing support throughout this difficult time so that ultimately they can help you find your way back into life once again.
Working with someone who has experience with grief and maternal bereavement allows for a safe space to let out all of the emotions that feel too heavy to carry alone, with someone who is removed enough from the situation that you aren’t required to “stay strong” or “hold it together” for someone else. You can come into the space, raw and emotional, without fear of judgment. Counselling can allow you to process your emotions and cope with the stress of maternal bereavement.
Counselling can help you:
Understand how you are feeling, including any anger or guilt that might be present
Work through your grief in a safe environment where you can talk through your thoughts and feelings without being judged by others
Learn new ways of coping with difficult situations in order to move forward
Explore what your next steps may be
Our emotions can take up space in our bodies and can present in various physical symptoms. The research on emotions, trauma and our physical selves is extensive (and we can talk more about that in another post). What we see is that the healing journey often requires a combination of mental and physical care to find a way back to a different version of ourselves after a loss.
How Acupuncture Can Help with Maternal Bereavement
Acupuncture is a form of traditional Chinese medicine that has been used for thousands of years. It involves the insertion of fine needles into specific points on your body to stimulate your nervous system and improve health. Studies have suggested that acupuncture may provide several benefits for women experiencing maternal bereavement.
When we experience stress, our bodies release hormones like cortisol, which can result in physical symptoms such as muscle tension, headaches, and poor sleep quality that we may not immediately perceive. When sleep is affected, an individual's overall wellbeing is negatively impacted. Sleep is an essential component of overall well being, especially when it comes to healing from a physical and emotional trauma. During sleep our body undergoes a restorative process, including the repair of tissues, regulation of hormones, and metabolism. Quality sleep promotes a healthy immune system and plays a crucial role in emotional regulation. By reducing cortisol levels naturally through acupuncture treatments (without relying on medication), you'll have more energy available to cope with life's challenges without feeling overwhelmed by them.
Additionally, acupuncture can help manage pain associated with childbirth injuries such as tearing during delivery, postpartum hemorrhage, uterine prolapse, incontinence due to weakened pelvic floor muscles post pregnancy, and constipation caused by hormonal changes during pregnancy. Seeing an acupuncturist can offer a comforting and relaxing space to take care of your emotional and physical wellbeing. Taking a holistic approach to healthcare, acupuncturists consider the whole person rather than just their physical symptoms; often resulting in the individual feeling seen and heard. Using traditional medicine coupled with a calm and soothing environment, acupuncture can create a sense of peace and relaxation allowing individuals to feel more grounded and centered.
It's important to note that acupuncture should be used as part of a comprehensive treatment plan that includes counseling, support groups, and other therapies to help anyone cope with the emotional impact of maternal bereavement. If you are considering acupuncture after pregnancy loss, it's important to talk to a licensed acupuncturist who is trained in working with anyone who has experienced this type of loss. They can help you understand the potential benefits and risks of acupuncture and work with you to develop a personalized treatment plan that meets your individual needs.
Things to Consider in Identifying the Right Counsellor for You During This Time
When seeking out a counsellor to work with, often we overlook how we feel about the therapist. One of the strongest predictors for success in therapy is how you feel about the therapist, and whether you like them. Regardless of what you are seeking support for, the connection is important. When looking for a counsellor to support you through maternal bereavement, it's important to take into account a few key factors:
How much experience do they have with maternal bereavement? Are they working in collaboration with other professionals who can help you through this difficult time
What is their approach? Do they use a particular technique or method?
Do you feel comfortable speaking to them? What is the “vibe” or feeling you get from them?
Are there any restrictions on who they will work with?
Do they work the days and times that work for your schedule?
Are they registered with the British Columbia Association of Clinical Counsellors (or a similar body?) *Not so fun fact, counselling is not a regulated health profession so anyone can say they are a counsellor in BC*
Does your insurance cover counselling sessions?
At Latitude Wellness, we recognize the value and importance of the therapeutic connection and offer complimentary consultations with one or more of our counsellors to ensure you feel connected to someone that is right for you.
Things to Consider in Identifying the Right Acupuncturist to Help Manage Maternal Bereavement
When looking for an acupuncturist, it's important to find someone who is a good fit for you. The following questions will help you determine if they are the right person:
How many years have they been practicing?
What kind of training do they have? Are they certified in acupuncture or Chinese medicine?
Do they specialize in any particular area(s) such as maternal bereavement or infertility treatment; chronic pain management; fertility issues; stress reduction techniques such as meditation or mindfulness practice etc.?
Do they work the days and times that work best for you?
Do you feel connected and comfortable with them?
Does your insurance cover acupuncture services?
Finding practitioners who are the right fit for you is an important part of the journey. At Latitude Wellness, we understand how overwhelming this process can be and want to make things as easy for you as possible. For acupuncture (and our other wellness services, excluding counselling), we offer direct billing to your insurance plan.
Additional resources for folks in BC
We believe that having access to services is essential for everyone. After all, humans are wired for connection, and navigating grief and loss is no exception. If you or someone you know is experiencing maternal bereavement in British Columbia, Canada, there are several resources available to provide support and guidance. Here are some resources to consider:
1. BC Bereavement Helpline: This helpline offers support and resources to people who are grieving the loss of a loved one. They can provide information about support groups, counseling, and other resources in your area. You can call them toll-free at 1-877-779-2223 or visit their website at https://www.bcbh.ca/ for more information.
2. BC Women's Hospital and Health Centre: This hospital offers a range of services to support women who have experienced the loss of a child, including counseling, support groups, and resources for bereaved parents. You can visit their website at https://www.bcwomens.ca/our-services/maternal-fetal-medicine/bereavement-services for more information.
3. Vancouver Pregnancy and Infant Loss Network: This network provides support and resources to families who have experienced the loss of a child. They offer support groups, counseling, and other resources to help families cope with their grief. You can visit their website at https://pailnetwork.sunnybrook.ca/vancouver for more information.
4. Compassionate Friends: This organization provides support to families who have experienced the loss of a child, regardless of the child's age or the cause of death. They offer support groups, online forums, and other resources to help families cope with their grief. You can visit their website at https://www.tcfcanada.net/ for more information.
5. Latitude Wellness and Counselling: An integrated multidisciplinary clinic in Downtown Vancouver offering counselling, acupuncture, pelvic floor physiotherapy, massage therapy and more to support folks going through maternal bereavement . For more information, you can visit our website at www.latitude-wellness.com.
6. Grief Counselling BC: This website provides a directory of grief counselors in British Columbia who specialize in helping people who are experiencing bereavement. You can search for a counselor in your area by visiting their website at https://griefcounsellingbc.com/.
These are just a few of the many resources available to help people who are experiencing maternal bereavement in British Columbia. It's important to remember that you don't have to go through this alone, and that there is help available to support you through this difficult time.
We want to honour and acknowledge the strength and resilience of every mother who is experiencing maternal bereavement.
The loss of a child is one of the most devastating losses anyone will ever experience. At Latitude Wellness, we offer an integrative approach to therapy to address both your mental and physical wellbeing. Our counselling team can be used to help you work through your feelings, while acupuncture can help you manage your physical symptoms. We are located downtown and offer virtual appointments for those who prefer to remain in the comfort of their own home. If you are interested in learning more about how these therapies can benefit you, please contact us today or visit us online at www.latitude-wellness.com